Hi.

For all of you who can't see in my mind, which I honestly hope is all of you, that title came with an awkward smile that can be found by any character in a movie or tv show that shows up after a long time and says nothing better than hi.

It's been a while since I really blogged... and I have no real excuse. I would say tumblr but I've been disappearing there quite frequently as well... (I don't take very long absences from tumblr but some days it must seem as if I have died to my followers there.) I've been dealing with trying to fix the mistakes I've made this year. I've made stupid decisions that I suppose will work out to be better in the end but right now they are a serious cause of my stress. I'm so stressed I am beginning to gain a frequent stutter... Okay, It's not that frequent but it happens enough that I am beginning to worry...

Yesterday was state one acts! We placed 4th! I've grown up watching tv and movies and there is always that moment of complete happiness for a character when they are a part of something successful (Due to the 1 am-ness of the time, I cannot think of a valid example, but they do exist!) Until we won districts, I had never known that feeling. That was the first time I ever cried tears of joy. I was almost not going to participate in the winter play but then I remembered the emptiness I felt watching the musical and I quickly fixed that almost-mistake. I mean, I really hate the theater department most days, but it's too fantastic to let go of. I plan on having a much smaller role in the production though. Plus, I am planning on actually auditioning for the Spring play. I've already begun working on my audition monologue.

Quiz Bowl has been going great this year! Brooke joined the team so I am not the only girl! I defeated Adam in show off to determine who would be on the team for the radio competition. (That was a great moment. I was so close to being the alternate! He needed to lose...) We've had one competition so far and it was Halloween Themed! I dressed as Sarah Jane Smith and one person actually recognized who I was!!!!!! It was entertaining! Andrew, Adam, and I had a good laugh about how surprising that was. (Preston didn't care.) We have another competition next Saturday. It will be Brooke's first competition which is kinda funny because it is the same one that was my first competition last year. This year, quiz bowl is my biggest focus. It's what I waited the longest for and it's what I truly care the most about (in terms of school that is!)

Mock trial was rather boring this year. It went much quicker which is weird because for me it was literally much longer (I joined 2 months late last year!) I had a witness role and I was seriously on the verge of a breakdown due to the religiousness of my character. Luckily, I learned to not give a care. I also became quite good friends with Grady. He, Tiffany, and I were (and still are) obsessed with the Badger Song! I've never had so much fun being hated by a teacher... Yeah, we were definitely the team Steinkamp liked the least. But we had much more fun than the team that actually tried hard and did good.

JSA is still quite awful. Especially the officers. I may rant about them some other time, but I am trying to keep my ranting to a minimum now due to a education system rant I had a while ago that ended up not so good... (I really shouldn't be allowed near any form of communication devices after 11 pm.) FBLA is not getting any better either... Again, not going to get started on that now either...

Classes are okay I suppose. I'm still struggling with band but I love every minute of it! Although, I was quite worried for a bit last week when the only good baritone player got suspended for fighting... I am barely passing AP Lit/Comp but I am learning a lot and I don't really care about the grade. I'm just in it for the english-ness of it. I don't know if Ms. Henre has realized that yet though. She probably thinks she overestimated my abilities... I am thinking about starting to try harder to improve though. I understand everything I just don't feel like trying. I would be doing much better in Math if I didn't hate my class so much. This can tie into my earlier twitter rant because that class is full of absolute idiots. I'm hoping to switch to the 8th period class so that I can rejoin choir and get away from the stupid people. I love lunch. It's the time when I get to be around people I actually like. I eat with the Jazz Band I class. So on days when they are gone, I don't like it so much (although I wouldn't know for sure. I took a lazy sick day on the day I knew they would be gone.) I love Sociology. It's an easy class with lots of time to read. Aerobics is hell. Investigating History is awesome but it is awful if you miss a day...

I've decided that I am going to go to Northeast for college... at least at first. I know I want to do screen writing and probably other forms of writing but I think I want to also do something that can help me if the writing doesn't go so well. I'm a dreamer, I'm not an idiot. I will probably do something with IT. I still need to apply for Northeast. And a ton of scholarships... I have no clue how I will pay for anything... I applied for a job at Hastings but they never replied to me...

Well, I think I've finally managed to become tired enough to sleep... Or at least tired enough that forming understandable sentences is horrendously difficult. Goodnight! I shall try to blog more often!