Monday

Today I do not feel good. It hs been a generally good day though! My stomach keeps making awkward noises and sharp shoting pains. Also I have a headache. Its definitely not fun. I am excited for Quiz Bowl practice tonight! A room full of people that I don't hate any of them! I am not close to all of them but they are not hated. Although my ability to look at Adam without laughing may be dead after the things Helen was joking about.

Saturday I worked the FBLA Raffle Ticket Table from 4 to after 8. Everyone else left me at 7:45 which is when we were told we would be done. Yes, they all left the quietest one to work the table alone. We did really well though.

Iv'e hit the point of annoyance which causes me to completely ignore my stepsister as much as possible. So Now, I am avoiding both of my step siblings... Not much improvement there.

I really hope I don't have teh flu. I am not leting the flu keep me from another Quiz Bowl competition. Especially not one that is this important. Even though I wont be competeing I want to be there. Tyler and I have to support our guys! That's our lable for them as of the last competition when I kept referring to them as that in our notes back and forth. I am actually starting to feel worse...

I hope we have a snow day tomorrow. That would be nice to let me get over this sickness. Otherwise I will have to fight through tomorrow too. I have a high tolerance of pain but sickness not so much. Plus, getting sick during school is a bit more likely to be noticed than during a play.

I honestly have to will to write right now... I keep forcing myself to type more. This is mostly becasue I feel writing a sickly random blog is better than a sickly random assigned story.

I was watchign Parks and Recreation last night (The Flu episode...) and in it Leslie got the Flu really bad and was unable to go to work but she had this big presentation and so she stole a bunch of meds from the hospital and did this presentation. Before the presentation she was hallucination and such but she did the presentation epically well. It showed how much she cared. I thought that was a very good episode.

I watched The Office either last night or this morning (I cant remember which... which is probably not a good sign) It was amazing!!!! I am so happy that Holly broke up with her boyfriend. I also watched How I Met Your Mother. It makes me so happy that there are several shows on that are of such great quality. It takes talent to make me cry and laugh in the same scene. It also takes a brave comedy show to do an episode in a funeral. It was all about Last Words. I don't remember any of the last words said to me by the dead people in my life, although, I know Lydia didn't have any.

I really feel like crap right now. It is not fun. Only one more class to get through until Quiz Bowl! I have a feeling Ms. Norman will let us be done sooner than normal because of the incoming storm. Hopefully she waits until my mom is off work though!

***Kat***

I just knew today would be a good day!

This morning I finished season 1 of Doctor Who. (and successfully made my mom a fan of doctor Who!) I also went with Tyler to talk to Furrow about using the band room for lessons instead of trying to use one of our houses, neither of which are very ideal. I also happened to pass him in the hall.
We had a good laugh at Matt in the hall who I believe forgot the combo to his locker and was just staring at it intensely. It was so funny!

I have finally become interested in the Percy Jackson series. I guess I just needed to get out of my depression before I could really get into them. Clearly, my twitter friends were right, your mood really does affect what you want to read. I would stil much rather be reading Tess Gerritsen books but I am trying to stay away from them for a while...

I love the mythology that the Percy Jackson series revolves around. It's also easier to understand in a book than it is in Ms. Reese's class. I don't feel I learn enough in there. It's far too easy. Although honestly, this whole semester is far too easy.

Rehersal was fun last night, we actually got to watch the play. This is the first time Iv'e really watched any of the plays completely before shownight!

I got Raven hooked on the Pretty Little Liars books. Sadly once she finished the one I'm bringing her tonight, I won't be able to supply her with anymore...

My grandma is sending me money soon. I'm really excited for that! Of course, that shall mean choosing between the next Percy Jackson book, the next Pretty Little Liars book, and anything else I may want. I am hoping the money gets here tonight so I can go shopping after I take my mom to work.

I have almost missed my nights home alone, even though I hate being home alone at night. This summer, I got used to my nightly Buffy marathons in the living room.

Lunch was okay... It was pretty uneventful but I did talk to him a bit. I got a good laugh at Andrew and Skyler proving Riley wrong. Those boys are so funny some days.

I don't know what it is about today, whether it be the bright purple jacket I am wearing or the braided pigtails my hair is styled into, I have been in a fantastic mood today and I love it!

My computer screen is really screwed up today. I should probably say something about it but it isn't really bothering me so i won't.

I was pretty happy with the way Doctor Who season 1 ended. I knew that the Doctor was going to change so I was assuming he would die but he just changed bodies. It will be weird watching it with a doctor who is not Christopher Eccleston though. It will be weird to get caught up to the current season but now that I am completely hooked, I am sure it won't be much longer. I hope that I can watch it on the BBC America website because Cable One doesn't get BBC America. Darn British Television haters!

I love British Television. Whether I am watching Doctor Who, The IT Crowd, or The Green Wing I always get more laughs from these shows than I do from most modern American shows. Some TV these days has just gotten pathetic. I do have many American shows that I love dearly but there are so many that I just shudder at the thought of. And many of the ones I shudder at are the most popular ones.

Well thats all for now! Busy day tomorrow but it should be fun!

***Kat***

Dr. Who!

Last night after tech rehersal I had a major headache. I tried watching some Desperate Housewives but the headache stuck around. Then I switched to Dr. Who because the lady who killed Selena in the movie Selena was a character and my mom was yellign at the screen. The worst that happens during Dr. Who is my mom calls me a nerd everytime she walks in the room.

I watched three episodes last night. It helped my headache some how. The last episode I watched was called "Father's Day." It was very interesting. Rose had the doctor go back to the day her father died. She just wanted to be there for him when he died. She ended up saving his life which then created a paradox causing some evil monster things to come and terrorize the world.

Its an idea I have thought over for all of my life. Iv'e always wondered what I would do if I could go back and save my sisters. The problem I always end up with (aside from my lack of time traveling ability) is would I really want to change the way my life is now. If Jessica hadn't died, would I have ever moved back to Nevada, would I still be completely confused on how to do basic things like put on makeup or make friends. And if Lydia hadn't died, would mom have left Ralph, would we have ever left Omaha, and most of all would grandpa have had his stroke when he did. (Lydia was his favorite person. and Im pretty sure he was hers)

I really don't believe I could be the person I am today if these events had not happened. Thinking like this always puts me in a strange kind of dazed mood.

On a brighter note, Sam and Tyler decided to ask the guy I like if he likes me today. He replied "Sure, I guess" which is just confusing but whatever. I had a good time goofing off with them in German today and during the fire drill. Lots of screams and falling during that! haha.

I have tech rehersal again tonight. I'm kinda excited because Iv'e started becoming friends with Riley a bit but I have a headache and lights crew has a lot of energy this year...

I'm trying to decide if I want to go on the JSA trip. I mean I would love to go but I don't get along with several of the people and its kinda expensive. I think I will probably skip it. Then I don't have to miss a quizbowl practice! My goal, even though it probably means nothing to anyone else, is to not miss a single practice this year. I think Preston and I are the only ones who haven't missed... And if He goes on the JSA trip I will be the only one!

Tyler and I are still jokeily plotting on how to get Adam out of the competition. We realized a bit late in the conversation that we probably shouldn't have been discussing that in German where his brother is in our class. Luckily he doesn't talk to me anymore. That was a disater but luckily I have basically forgotten about it most days!

While watchign Dr. Who last night I was talking to Riley, and he was saying how it was strange to be watchign everyone reherse instead of rehersing. I imagine it would be. I know it's strange for me to not go to the JC every week. I remember this year after winter break I walked into the JC and I realized that I had really missed it over the break. Just like when I walked into Mrs. Steinkamp's room last week for JSA. I spent so much time in her room last semester, I even slept overnight in there twice! I was in there daily for class, Tuesdays for JSA, and Mondays for Mock Trial.

Last night I was informed that I have had the title of my blog misspelled this whole time. It's changed now!

Well that's all for now!

Actually due to the fact there is about 15 minutes left of class I suppose I shall keep blogging!

Tech rehersal yesterday was interesting... Raven brought some leftover doughnuts for lights crew and I swear they were drugged... Or just had too much sugar! We all had so much energy but it was so much fun! (Everytime I say "So much fun!" I think of the girl from Gilmore Girls who was Rory's roommate during her freshman year of college) For a while Riley, Matt, Tiffany, Raven, and I were just sitting in the lights booth laughing a lot. Then Raven, Matt, and Tiffany went to help Dan with something. (They got sent back minutes later) By the end Riley, Matt, Mitch, Raven, Tiffany, and I were all goofing off. Riley and I were still claiming they were drugged although Tiffany switched back to Raven's side... haha

I am getting used to having a larger lights crew. It's better having more people to help out even if we don't actually need that many people all of the time. It also makes me feel better when I have to show up late because of quizbowl.

At lunch we were playing "Who would win." we had a lot of spongebob references. Then someone brought up ninjas vs pirates and Sam replied, "I am not a pirate" and brooke burst out laughing... It confused Sarah and Claudia pretty good! Then at one point someone said "Brooke or Kat" everyone picked Brooke... and then Sam went on to say that if it were a verbal fight I would really lose because I would just tweet everything. At least I think Andrew and the other confused ones were entertained by our insanity.

I finished my book! I think instead of continuing the series right away I am going to take a break and read Cecelia Ahern's newest book.

Well now I am really out of things to say.

***Kat***

Juicy Fruit Chapstick

(I couldnt resist)

Today I have actually had several conversations about my Juicy Fruit Chapstick. Mostly because Raven tried to give me a sugar covered doughnut (Yes that is the dictionary spelling. Even though most of the world spells it Donut) and I just looked at her and said, "There is no way I can eat this. The sugar will stick to my chapstick!" Apperently she found that funny... And so did Brooke, Sarah, and Tiffany.

I am a bit sad today as I found out I may have to miss a day of Quiz Bowl. Unless of course I end up unable to go on the JSA trip, But I really want to go to that!

Today has been relatively uneventful otherwise. Tech tonight and tomorrow and friday and saturday... Oy Saturday will be busy. Tech in the morning FBLA raffle ticket sales at the games all after noon... Sunday will be a free day!!! Friday night I am home alone again. I havent missed those days. Then Tech all of next week and the next week. I want to sleep just thinking about how busy Feburary already is... Well thats all for now!


***Kat***

He's An Effing Ninja!

"He's an effing ninja!" That was the text i found when I checked my phone after first period today. My friend was planning to ask the guy I like if he likes me but apperently he is a ninja... Then when I showed Brooke the text at lunch he randomly walked by. So clearly the statement is true. Now Tiffany has decided shes going to join in the attempt to find out if he likes me... Nothing is scarier than having your crazy friends talking to the guy you like about you...

I have been meowed at a lot today. Normally it doesnt bother me too much but today my friends have even got random strangers to start meowing at me and thats just weird.

I have nothing of much importance today. My original blog idea was going to be "Juicy Fruit Chapstick" so I feel this is a bit better. (Although my juicy fruit chapstick is amazing!)

I enjoy days that I can start with coffee. The main thing I have proven today is the fact that I still am a Gilmore at heart. I am so much like Rory today. It's uncanny.

Well thats all for now. JSA Tonight!

***Kat***

Band Groupie.

So today marked the beginning of the end of my Band Groupieness. I officially talked to Furrow about joining band as a Baritone next year!!!! I felt super cool sitting with the tiny band today... over half of the student section was open but I sat on the stairs next to the band. Thats where my friends are! I had a lot of fun. I dont even care that Winter Royalty was cancelled. It gives me more time to build up the confidence to hint at the guy I like. Although maybe if I just imbrace my inner Raaj and drink a vault when I try to talk to him I would be more successful!

I had a vault and now no one that I talk to will reply... I guess I am a bit scary when hyper... May have something to do with the silent calm I usually am.

I learned today that makeup is evil. I had to redo my eye make up at least 5 times and by the end it was painful to apply it. Then I also managed to stab myself in both eyes with the mascara... Then I took like an hour or so on my hair and it was all for nothing! But this postponement gives me more time to learn how to make the makeup look better... My problem was I got the look I wanted but it looked off on me...

So my current problem is 2 of my friends like the same guy and they keep asking me for advice on whether they should ask him out or not and I honestly dont know what to do... I dont know the guy well so I have no clue who would be better off asking him so I keep telling them to try but I feel awful about it because at least one of them will get hurt... and one of them is my step sister...

Well Thats all for now... Otherwise my topics will get really far off and random!

***Awkwardly Hyper Kat***

Tess Gerritsen

So I am still going nuts without any new Rizzoli and Isles books to read. I started thinking this morning about the fact that Tess Gerritsen is rather BA. She writes about things that are practically Taboo. How often do you get to read about religious men breaking their vows, government conspiracy theories, cult conspiracies, the basics of how to make mummies, shrunken heads, and bog bodies, or a club of demon hunters. And its all written by one lady.
I think that could be one of the reasons I love the series so much. It makes me think about things I never really thought of before... Okay I did think of the government conspiracy theories but other than that it was all new thoughts for me!

A Most Unusual Day

Today has been odd. I woke up to find my cellphone not working. So I restarted it (which takes like 15 minutes) and when it was almost starting back up it froze for several minutes. Then I went to send a text to twitter and discovered that twitter had "forgotten" my phone. So I had to fix that. Then I started watching the new episode of 30 Rock. At 645 I left to take my mom to work. Then I returned home. I made myself a Emma Pillsberry style PB&J and then finished the episode of 30 rock (which was epic!!!) It was 716. which is one minute after I normally leave to get raven. This bothered me more than it should. I left quickly to go get raven. In the process I forgot my watch. It is very difficult to go through a shortened day without my watch. I also forgot something else but I don't remember what it was that I forgot...

Well Raven gave me the money for my winter royalty ticket that my dad promised me and we headed off to school! Helen and Brooke had noticed I was running later than usual (thus proving the fact that I rarely run late)

PC was basically study hall for me. I had maybe 5 minutes of work on our assignment then I was done. I typed up my Cinderella story and then wrote my physics paper. And I still had about 15 minutes to read! Then math I finished quickly granting me even more time to read.

Choir was pretty normal. Then in German we watched some videos. The last was a documentary about the German band Cascada!

Lunch was awesome! I bought my WR ticket and read some more. Then I ate my sandwich and other food! Such a good sandwich I must say. Brooke had us all playing truth or dare on her iPod. That ended with big laughs as it asked me who I thought had the best legs. That even got a laugh out of Andrew who wasn't even in the game. Then Tiffany discovered how uncanny the constant coldness of my hand is and awkwardly held my hand on her face through the halls.

I walked into Physics to find Mr Miller lighting a plastic bag on fire just for fun. That man worries me some days...Then I apparently zoned out because the class ended quickly! Then I walked to Creative Writing with Tiffany who is in an "argument" with Raven over who is a jerk... I'm not really sure what that is about.

I am so excited that I have nothing to do this weekend other than Winter Royalty! I'm either going to hang out with Brooke or watch a bunch of TV tonight. I will probably read a bit too! I will probably end up at the library for the first time in months... Ive been reading series that I buy so much lately. I miss the library. Although maybe I will get lucky and return home to find money in the mail from my grandma so I can just buy the next book. For some reason I enjoy owning the books better than checking them out.

I'm still on the process of bringing my encyclopedias from my car to my apartment... There are so many of them and they are heavy! And its cold. They will all be in my room eventually.

My book is taunting me right now trying to make me finish it. I'm just glad I found a series that I like almost as much as the Rizzoli and Isles series. Of course, it still revolves around death.

I'm thinking that what I should do is switch back and forth from the Pretty little Liars series to the Percy Jackson series. I really want to read them both...

Well I don't have anymore *interesting* things to say.

***Kat***

Lydia Rose Stuthman (Aug. 16, 1995 - Jan. 20, 2007)

Instead of posting a sad story explaining her death I decided a memorial post was a better plan!

Lydia Rose Stuthman




Lydia was my life. She was everything I lived for. In fact when she died she was all I had keeping me going. I was miserable with my mom and her boyfriend. I remember the best days were when Joey went to the babysitter and my mom and Ralph went to the casino so I got to babysit lydie for several hours. It was the only time I could really be at peace. She continues to be the force that keeps me going everyday.



Lydia was a ray of sunshine. There was no way to be unhappy around her. It interesting to realize how she affected other people. In a way, I believe she helped keep me naive for so long. With Lydia, there was no evil.




When I think of how much has changed since shes been gone I realize that even though some days its really hard, life does go on and although I don't know where she really is, I do believe that in some way she is always with me helping me out. I also believe she is with my older sister and with my grandpa.



Now Ive run out of things to say so here are some more pictures!









I miss my sister so much and I cant believe it has been 4 years.

The magical powers of a fantastic mood

So today I woke up and I was totalyl exhausted. Thinking back, if something hadnt changed I am sure today would have been just as blah-ish as the last few days have been. I'm not exactly sure what changed my mood. It could have been watching the Good Wife (Which I had to leave at a point where it was getting very good!!!!) or it could have been singing very loudly in my car at 715ish waiting for Raven who overslept or it could have been a number of other thing. All I know is something this morning changed my mood and Ive managed to keep up this fantastic mood.

It helps that I got all of my work done in PC and then due to some miscommunication yesterday I had a free day in math so I got to read for over an hour straight. Then I got to choir where my favorite guest was teaching our class today (Last year I referred to him as Dick Van Dike (love him!!!) and this year my first thought was "That man *looks* British" and then I realized it was the same man) I dont think Ive been that happy in choir in months (I was also entertained when Rowse walked in and was dancing behind Mr Gansebom)

Then at lunch I put aside any awkward feelings Ive been having and just had fun and it proved very successful because everyone seemed happy (Except Riley who was disappointed after learning I am not ambidextious so I cant help record his and Skylers show while driving. Hahaha)

Then on the walk from Lunch to Physics I got into a very loud debate with Tiffany and Raven over the color of Dan's hair. Raven says light brown, Tiffany says Dirty Blonde, I (with my decision inpediment) said both. Then in Physics we played with water.

In German we had a good laugh about politics then went on to read about all the enjoyable things Germans do on vacations. They like Spas.

Now I am looking forward to an easy day in Mythology and Sci Fi before a wonderfully giggly Tech. Im hoping we decide who shall be doing what.

Well that was my happy post for the day!

***Kat***

Snow (and how mentioning Loreali Gilmore made me want coffee)

So due to the depressingness of that last post I have decided to post about the snow!

I've always loved the snow. It just makes everything better. Unless of course I am smiling at the sky so much I walk into something and get hurt, but that doesnt happen often (well it does but that doesnt matter)

I'm a bit like Lorelai Gilmore with my love for snow. Many people find it to be very annoying but it instantly makes my day better. I believe it has an almost magical quality. If anything it has the capability of putting the world (well whatever part of the world its in) at rest for a little while. For example, those awesome snow days! Andrew and I were joking about how if we keep getting these snow storms we may never have a Monday and Tuesday of school again. (Sadly our joking was proved wrong)

Now I really want some coffee. I haven't had coffee in several weeks. I know what I am doing when I get home! I will also probably watch some more Canterbury's Law! And maybe make another snow angel if I get the chance! Oooh maybe I will make my snow angel by the school when I return for JSA! Oh what would the majority of my classmates think if they could hear/see what I say and think sometimes.

I have discovered that there are many people who think I never talk yet there are actually some who do not believe I am quiet... Which I prefer is a very good question. I suppose its just a matter of finding the middle ground. Having teachers tell you that you are too quiet is hilarious but probably not good, but I would never want to hear a teacher say I talk too much.

As I just corrected a typo, I realized I have probably made quite a few that I left in so I am sorry for that. My fingers dont like cooperating with my brain!

I think what I need to do is make one of my Over Analytical lists and prioritize the things in my life again. I am realizing now that my main problem right now is my life is getting out of control and I am not doing anything to fix that. I'd much rather be a control freak than the way I am now.

Well thats all for now, I feel this post was much more upbeat than my earlier one!


***Kat***

Fear

I've discovered that a major problem I have is fear. I dont know what it is I am exactly afraid of but I think it probably has to do with my fear of people. I wish it were easier to ignore fear.

Basically I have been having a good day. Lunch was a bit Iffy because of that mentioned fear. But I have been laughing a lot. At least with my friends. I suppose I have been kinda depressed today.

Its snowing!!!! The snow makes everything better. Its worked the last few snows, hopefully it works today.

I have JSA tonight and I am really excited about it!!! I have missed the people in JSA so much. I see them in the halls sometimes but its not the same. Because of Mock Trial, we were all much closer earlier in the year. I miss that.

I'm hopeing after this week everything will get better again. School has been far too easy which causes me to think too much. I've been close to tears several times today.

***Kat***

In theory this is post number three!

So I have posted a few more blogs than I needed so far...

Today hasnt gone as I expected or hoped but it has been full of laughter so thats okay! My friends are making *Evil* plots against me. I have a feeling I may die of embarrassment tomorrow at lunch. Or at least the guy I like will probably know by then... So Im basicaly terrified of lunch tomorrow.

We are starting a poetry unit today! Ive never liked the way poetry is taught in english classes because the teachers tend to be too strict about the poetry style. So hopefully this will go better.

I did love the poetry in British Lit. Although why wouldnt I love reading old romantic poems in the same class as my crush.

I finished Ice Cold yesterday (thus finishing the Rizzoli and Isles series until July) and now my bookcase is overflowing with books... I started the Pretty Little Liars series. Its pretty good so far although it took is oddly applicable to my life.

I am quite excited that I have nothing to do after school today! Its the first free school monday in many many months... since like the first monday of school I would guess.

This morning I finally decided to figure out a bit of my memory. I wanted to know how Jessica's car was hit. I remember that it was apperently by a large vehicle (not sure but I think it was a semi). I found the picture of her car that my mom had and it turns out the drivers side was completely crushed. I cant imagine what it must have been like for her. I dont want to imagine it either.

After physics, Raven was telling me how my dad is harping (is that the word I want) her about not having a Winter Royalty date. Her argument is that I dont have a date either. He apperently doesnt care that I dont. I laughed at her! (On a side note, My dad is giving me a full set of encyclopedias!!! (maybe theres a reason he isnt surprised or worried about my lack of a date))

Well I cant think of anything else important to say so I suppose I shall now day Audiu (And im sure I spelled that wrong)

***Kat*** (P.S. Kayt and I are twins today!!! Matching shirt and shoes, completly unplanned)

Julie Andrews

I grew up with the singing of Julie Andrews. When I was young I watched Mary Poppins everyday! Then when I was about 10 I saw The Sound Of Music for the first time. I was always a fan of her in The Princess Diaries.

A few years ago, I found out about how she ended up unable to sing due to a surgery gone wrong. It really makes me think. I dont know what I would do if I were unable to sing. I was practically in tears when I lost my voice over winter break. Its an awful feeling for me to try to sing and have no sound come out. Even worse when it hurts me to sing. Luckily my voice has recovered.

In more ways than one, Julie Andrews is one of my Idols. She is wonderfully talented! I strongly believe it is because of her that I love singing so much.

Heroes (not the show)

On Sunday January 9th Angie Harmon tweeted "I think we all could use a hero right now..."

My main heroes are either fictional or basically strangers. This bothered me at first but then I realized its exactly what I would expect for me.

Im sitting here reading Ice Cold and coming across tons and tons of references to things in my own life. Ive had several crying spells throughout the morning. Ive been chatting with some of my twitter friends, and trying to get myself out of this bad mood, but Ive realized I cant force myself out of it. There is really nothing I can do. It takes time for me to get out of these common bad moods.

So Ive gotten to a part in my book where A guy is having a seziure. I lost it for a few minutes, then I realized that what I really need to do is finish this part of the book (and this book in general) because these books end with a resolution. Most wouldnt call them "Happy Endings" because its not like the people come back to life but I think thats why I love them. I wont get a "Happy Ending." I wont get my sisters back. I wont get back the childhood I basically lost. But I do get to move on. I'm still here. And I can still have good days, but its the bad days that really make the good days good. They become a reminder of the happiness I can have.

So Im done saying its time for me to move on. Im done waiting for the days when I will no longer have these bad days. Im going to try just living. Sure I will cry, sure I will be miserable. But I will be alive.

Hopefully this will be one of the last sad blogs I post. In 4 days I will be posting about the worst day in my life. I honestly wont reccomend reading it but hopefully by getting it out there I will feel a bit better.

And for now, I will keep looking up to fictional characters and strangers because they are the ones who bring my mood up the easiest! And that makes them my Heroes.

***Kat***

What an Amazing Day!

Today was so great. Had fun making fun of the boys on the way to morningside (in Jest!) Then we get to move on so... We are gonna be on tv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus there was quite a bit of flirtage between me and Someone.

Then I had to go work the tshirt table for FBLA. That was okay. At the end, Mr. and Mrs. Mueller decided that what kat says goes!

Then I got to go watch the game. HOLY CRUMPETS! that was so intense. Now I should explain, I dont understand sports. at all. I go for the cheering and band! (In fact Helen's and My Band Groupie signs made a comeback!!! There is something very relaxing about yelling really loud and dancing like a complete idiot. Then on the way back to the band room with raven, I inherited Raven's clarinet because she had to go to the bathroom, which gave me a chance for more flirtage with Someone!

Then after taking Raven and Helen home, I had a mini Sing as loud as I could party on the drive home! Now I am blogging then going to bed.

I really think its highly likely that Someone likes me and that just makes me happy. Whether anythings happens or not I have no clue, for Someone and I are both quite quiet people.

I look forward to the upcoming craptastic week with a bit of optimism due to the awesomesauceity of today!
Bye!!! ***Kat***

Was that fun?

So tonight was the drama club cozy party. Althought I dont believe that name fits. That was a bunch of terrifyingly hyper teenagers all in one room. Honestly, the most fun I had was playing with Mrs. Steinkamp's dog, Dezi. I really loved that part. Then I convinced myself to go join in the game of Apples to Apples. Then I convinced myself to try to fit in with those people. That was my mistake.

Those people are horribly perverted and scary. And Loud. Although I admit I got a bit loud (mostly in attempts to shut them up at first then I just let myself go) By the end we were out in the Forum playing park bench. There is a reason I hate that game and that is the fact it always gets out of control quickly... especially when half the people dont know how to play and are just guessing.

Overall, I really dont fit in with the majority of people my age and I honestly dont think I want to. I shall stick with my nerds. And dogs.

Now to waste a while drying my hair so it will be cooperateing when I get to school in 8 hours... and to do some major mood boosting

***Kat***

Trauma Induced Memory Loss

When I was younger, Everytime I went to stay at my grandmas house I asked to watch Swan Lake. I loved it. But at some point I forgot everything about it except the fact I loved it so much. I searched it up a few months ago and found out it was actually the 1981 japanese anime version I watched. I watched a bit on youtube but couldnt see the whole thing. I am still on the search to find the rest. One thing I love was the fact that the narrarator characters are squirrels. I did not remember this but for the last few years squirrels have been one of my favorite animals. Coincidence or not? I think not.

My theory of my memory loss is it was caused by my sisters death(s). I do believe there was a bit when my older sister died but I was so young that my memory wasnt very good anyways. But when my younger sister died I think my head was truly messed up. I hardly remember anything from before she died.

Well theres my mini post before the Drama Party! Off to get Raven!!! I am trying to stay really optimistic and happy this week. If I dont I could really fall into a deep depression. Luckily I have found my real friends recently. They make it almost impossible to be sad.


***Kat***

For lack of a real title

So I went through my morning with a generaly blank face. I was laughing a bit with my friends before school, otherwise I was just blah. Lunch was the beginning of today's improvement! It basically started when I made the mistake of mistaking Judge Trudy from The Amanda Show with the real Judge Judy. Yes, I was arguing that the real Judge Judy has dancing lobsters on her show. Then Brooke and I were laughing due to the flirtage she and the guy she likes were doing before school. Then after she left, Andrew and I were laughing a bit while discussing how evil the Jr High stairs are. -- to be clear, we started by discussing the fact we have to be here at 630 tomorrow morning for quizbowl, then i added that I will be at school until 10ish tonight and he was talking about how he has baseball conditioning and he will have to run the stairs for like 20 minutes tonight (and I plead the 5th to why I remember all of this) -- then In physics we had a fun day where It started with mr Miller blowing out candles with a vaacume (I hate spelling that word) and ended with the class blowing plastic coins into tiny cups. Now I am in Creative Writing typing about all of the good things that happened throughout my day, which is keeping my mood good.

On the way to class, I passed the LIFE class in the hall. If my sister was still alive, she would have been in that class. The 2 I actually noticed in the hall were her friends.

I found my locket yesterday. It had been missing for several days. So that was a good thing. I also bought some new books yesterday so once I finish Ice Cold I will be moving on to Pretty Little Liars, Buffy, or Percy Jackson... (Why do I keep buying new series... then I get hooked and have to finish them) I also have Cecelia Aherns newest book which I havent read yet... Actualyl I havent read her last 2. I love that my favorite author went from being Cecelia Ahern (who writes depressingish love stories) to Tess Gerritsen (who writes extremely suspenseful medical dramas)

It occasionally worries me that I read what I read. Its probably not great that I can now read through the grusomly descriptive parts without any issues.

As far as the thinking about what to do after high school, I have decided I want to do something with facts and knowledge for sure. Its better for me to do that then the creative stuff because it has more stability. Of course I will still do creative things. I plan to hit 100,000 tweets before I turn 21! My mom pointed out this morning that I have less than 500 days until graduation... She thinks knowing this makes me excited. It terrifies me.

I am still trying to figure out what caused me to have a nightmare last week. All I remember about this dream was there was a woman in it and I woke up extremely terrified. I have had many dreams that should qualify as nightmares that dont bother me at all but whatever this was really scared me yet I dont remember what occured.

I wish I wasnt afraid of needles. Then maybe I could find out what is wrong with my wrists... Both of them hurt quite often now. Ive also had a killer pain in my knees and ankles all day as well as a sharp pain in my side again... And headaches. And my vision has been getting worse even though the eye doctors claim I have perfect vision. I hate doctors. They are idiots.

Drama party tongiht from 7-10! Im excited to just relax and spend time with people I dont talk to much. Ok that was slight lieage. I am incapable of relaxing and I am slightly terrified by the thought of people I dont talk to. But it will be fun!

Thats one thing I always have, unneccessary optimism! Everything will get better someday I believe. And I really do believe thats true, but it easily could get way worse before it gets any better. I just cant wait for this week to be over.

Although I am really looking forward to tomorrow! We leave for Sioux City at 630. From what I know it will be Preston, Bryan,Andrew, Adam, Tyler and me going to the competition. (With Tyler and I still being the only girls... I guess its better than me being the only girl like the first semester) I get along fairly well with the guys (one more than the others... :))

Then I have to work the tshirt table for FBLA at the game tomorrow (I think... Ive kinda confused my game activities)

So I tried to post this at the end of class but it failed.

After school I got stuck in the parking lot for 18 minutes. But at least my car singing entertained others. Brooklynn pointed this out on facebook. lol. Now I am watching Mythbusters while I blog then I shall read my book until the Drama Party! I just want to relax but use enough energy to sleep through the night (something I havent done this week...)

I was really hopeing this whole waking up in the middle of the night thing was gone for good but its back as usual... I still have no clue what causes it but every few months I go through a few weeks where I wake up for several hours between 1 and 3 am ish. its awful!

well thats all for now. ***Kat***

Ice Cold

I have finally got to the last book in the Rizzoli and Isles series (at least until July!!!) I love the fact that its basically about them being stranded during the winter and its insanely cold here!
Today at lunch I was reading about them finding dead animals frozen in the snow when my friend sarah commented on the coldness of the school by saying "its like they are trying to freeze us to death." I had to stop reading for a while...

I'm not sure what I am going to read after I finish this book. I may read some more of Tess Gerritsen's books or I may start the Percy Jackson series. I might also just read some random books. I found a nice bunch of books at a Savers in Vegas!!! I was in book heaven, yet my mom wasnt so happy...

I also have to try and decide what show to watch on my night off. I could finish Canterbury's law or I could continue Desperate Housewives. I will probably watch desperate Housewives just so I dont run out of my books and my show on the same day.

I am having major writers block today. I blame PC. 10 minute nonstop writing was horrible... I filled a page front and back with only 1 paragraph of completely aimless rambling.

Well thats all for now! I had something earlier that I really wanted to blog about but I forgot it. ***Kat***

Welcome to Wisteria Lane

Thanks to Netflix Instant, I finally met Desperate Housewives tonight. Its the perfect proof that everything is not what it seems. Ive always been curious as to what causes people to be the way they are, just like I know that I am the way I am because of the things that have happened in my life.

I know that my fear of people is due to all the people who have come into my life only to be gone. I know that my TV obsession is caused by my need to think of things other than my own life. although I dont know why I am so quiet... Clearly I have alot to say.

Well my headache is returning so I suppose its time to get off my computer. ***Kat***

BusyBee-ness

Today my schedule took its usual "start the week with nothing and end up with no free time" turn only for the rest of the month. I've ended up filling my next few weeks with FBLA, Quiz Bowl, JSA, Drama Club, and the Winter Play. Luckily, as long as the teachers involved give me a tiny bit of timing leeweigh (i admit I have never spelled that word so it is probably wrong) I should be fine.

Today I made a slightly major tweet fail and sent a text intended for my friend to twitter... Aside from pain from laughing there seems to be no harm done. Other than that lunch was fantabulous today!

Saturday I have my 3rd major High School Quiz Bowl competition. This is the one that could potentially qualify us to be on tv!!! And if that happens I will be a very Happy Kat.

For FBLA, we are currently working on our "pink out"! Ive signed up to help as much as I can. It will take a bit of time but it will be fun. I dont really liek the group of people in FBLA this year as much as last year but I do still love FBLA. I found it funny while watching Veronica Mars this summer, that Veronica was in FBLA. Of course, the TV version of FBLA is way more FBLA-y than ours is... which is almost ironic!

In JSA we are preparing to plan our Spring Trip. We also are doing a bit of shifting in our office positions. Hopefully I can sneak my way into office.
Along with this, the debockal (i need to stop using funny words because I just do not know how to spell them...) yesterday pointed out to me that I am more organized than I thought. And I apperently am just the type of person that people thinks knows stuff. Im also a total nerd due to the fact I felt super important emailing a teacher.

Today in PC, we were discussing communication in the workplace and it was relateable to some convos I have had on twitter. I zoned out a bit and realized how many forms of communication I use in a day. and how many ways I have to do one thing. I can tweet via text, ubertwitter, mobile web, blackberrys twitter app, and the actual internet. I can facebook via text, mobile web, blackberrys facebook app, and the actual internet. I can read my hotmail and gmail emails on my phone and actual internet. I can post blogs on here via text, email, and blogger.com.
Everyday I communicate via text, tweet, email, facebook, voice, note, and the occasional IM. I am never truely unreachable.

Over the break I had to do something I never wanted to do, which was bump up the privacy settings on my facebook. I realize it isnt really safe to not do that but when I think of all the amazing strangers I have met on twitter and such, I cant imagine blocking them out. On facebook some creep found me and was sending me slightly harassing messages so I reported him and upped my privacy settings... This kills me a bit inside.

When my exstepdad was possibly stalking (and then lying) about my twitter, I didnt block others from seeing it, I told him off via twitter. Just to use up more time I feel like explaining that a bit.
My mom met him when we lived in Lincoln, I was informed of their engagement via text when I was staying at my grandmas. Yeah, how would you like that text. We moved to Omaha to live with him in Dec 06. I hated the guy from the moment we met him 2 months before that... I did not try to hide my hatred at all. well in Jan. my younger sister died (more on that next thursday) and my mom kinda lost her mind. We moved to Norfolk for a day and a half. She wasnt happy with him and she needed to get out of that house. He texted her saying he was going to kill himself and leave his son for the babysitter. so we moved back in with him... Then in late Feb. my grandpa had a stroke and we moved out to Vegas to help him adn my grandma. We were out there until August. Then we moved back and she got back together with him. She was going to make me move back to Omaha. I told her I didnt want to because I did not like him. They broke up again. Then a few weeks later they got back together and it was decided that they would move to norfolk. They got married. They broke up. We moved down the street. They eventually moved to Texas. Then while filing for divorce he claimed I was saying things on Twitter about wishing his son dead. I never had mentioned either of them on twitter. Nor did I have twitter anytime he was in our family. They were spilt by sept 08 I got twitter jan 09 and didnt start using it much until may 09. So thats how we found out he was stalking me via twitter.
We still arent sure if they are divorced or not...

So afterschool today I have to go talk to Ms. Norman about the Quiz Bowl competiton saturday and then I have Tech Rehersal!!! Im still annoyed by the change in our crew. Its not the people I have a problem with just the fact that we have so many unneeded people. At least 1 didnt show up, whether he will this week or not Im not sure. and 1 is just there because he wont be there on show night... I think Dan, Matt, Tiffany, Raven, and I would be just fine on our own... Oh well at least the other 2 may have some strength, Which is something Matt, Tiffany, Raven, and I lack... (Give me a break, "I'm not large with the butch.")
I love lights crew but I really am getting sick of running spotlight every time... My favorite day of Tech ever was the day I got to run the Lights board... But Raven and Matt already claimed that this time. I am slightly annoyed at how little control I have considering Ive been on lights the longest. I am thinking of saying I am willing to be crew chief for the next play. I would feel bad taking our current chiefs place, but its not like he does that great of job. He tells us to do something and gives us no detail. At least I get free entertainment due to the fact Raven has a crush on him. With the way things look now, I am going to be jobless for the play. Lame, but at least its not spotlight. I loved the feeling last week of walking into the JC after the long break. It has gotten to the point of feeling like home in a way. The JC and Steinkamps room are where I have spent most of my year.

It feels so weird not being in Steinkamps classroom everyday. Heck, Ive slept overnight (in theory) twice. I really miss mock trial and I look forward to doing it again next year. I also plan on running for a higher office of JSA next year. I really love all the activities I have done this year and even though they have made my schedule quite hectic, I would not change a thing. (Like how I basically started and ended with the same topic! Completely unplanned!)

***Kat***

Overthinking.

The problem I have is the fact I over think everything. I overthink everything anyone says to me, everything I do, everything I see, all of my dreams, etc. This causes me major problems sometimes. Like, When I froze during mock trial for several minutes. I couldn't decide what to say. Or when I take 15 minutes to pick out a movie to fall asleep to.

My current issue with this problem is the approach of my senior year. My overthinking causes me to be incapable of making quick decisions, or, in most cases, any real decision at all. I have no clue what I want to do after high school. I was looking at the form for the ACT (which I still need to take) and it has a spot to list your top 3 choices for college. I dont even have the slightest clue where I want to go. And how do you figure out where to go when you dont know what you want to do?

Everyone I talk to says that I have time, but do I? I suppose I do have a bit of time but when I think of how fast the last 4 years have gone, I'm not so sure that I do. And how does one who has difficulties making decisions make a decision that will affect the rest of my life.

I have noticed that I am getting closer to making a decision of some form... at least I am getting better at ranking the things I love.

Well, The Good Wife has finally returned (YAY!!!!!!!) so I am off. Honestly, I hope for no school tomorrow because its going to be too cold. Bye ***Kat***

Snow Day Number 2!!!!

It is cold!!!!

So this morning I spent watching old cartoons (POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!!) and playing Paper Mario on the N64. Now I am waiting for my Sims 3 expantion to reload on my moms computer...

Raven reminded me earlier that we were going to have Concession stands for JSA tonight and she wasnt sure if we still would... Shes the Vice President of JSA and apperently the President asked her... yet I am the one who finally emailed mrs Steinkamp to find out...

Today somehow made me realize how much my confidence has boosted this last year or so. I mean I do talk way more than I used to and I have a voice 85% of the time when I try to talk to teachers now!

Well Sims has loaded so time to go control tiny people's lives! (So Much Fun!)

***Kat***

Snow Day

Yippee!!! Today was a snow day! Although my plans for what I would do if we got a snow day did not happen, I did have a great day! I watched several new (in theory) movies. The first one was really strange and awkward. The second was Clueless. Such a fantastic movie!!! I had a minor freak out when I saw that Paul Rudd was in it (how hilarious is he??? :D) I also made a small collections of icons. (which you can check out by clicking on the livejounrnal link on the right)

My mom has been playing World of Warcraft all morning... And she refuses to take a break to let me play. My cats seem to be glad we have been home all day. I managed to sleep from 11 to 1 ish... During which I had my first actual nightmareish dream in years... although I dont remember it I just remembered I woke up a bit scared. So thats probably not a good thing.

Well Thats all I have to say for now... I think I am going to pick out a different movie because the one I am watching now isnt very interesting... ***Kat***

Mysteries

12 year old Jessica holding Baby me!


Although I was hoping to avoid posting multiple times a day, my thoughts have become singlely focused on one topic and I felt that a post on it may help me a bit.

Ive been spending most of this afternoon and many months before today reading mystery/crime novels (the Rizzoli and Isles series). In these books by the end the mystery or crime is solved. I havent been able to figure out why i recently have picked up an interest in stories like this. 2 summers ago I started watching Saving Grace which was the beginning of my crime show interest.

A town on the school cancellation page made me finally figure out a possible interest cause. My older sister. She will always be a mystery to me. I hardly remember her and what I do know about her I learned from an obituary that went off the interweb a few months ago... I know she was in choir and band and she had a waterbed and a horribly messy room. and she only danced with 2 boys at her 8th grade dance. (that one i learned from a picture she sent us after that) I also know she wanted to be a special education teacher. And the song at her graduation was "I will remember you" by Sarah McLaughlin. I also know she loved the song Mambo Number 5 because it said her name in it.

I have 8 memories of her. I cry a bit everytime i hear either of those songs. She would be 28 now. And in approximately 1 year I will have outlived her. Its a horrible feeling to know you will out live your older sister.

Well now I shall return to my book, I just needed to get that off my chest. I really wish I could get ahold of that Obituary since I was stupid and never saved it to my computer. ***Kat***

Rizzoli And Isles

A Tribute to Rizzoli and Isles
This summer TNT premiered its new show Rizzoli And Isles. It stars Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander. I dont remember how I heard about it but I remember I decided to watch it because I have always loved Angie Harmon from Agent Cody Banks. Then while watching the first episode I noticed on Twitter that my Best Friend From Nevada, Kaitlin, was watching it too. Then it became a weekly tradition of watching and discussing it every week.
Then, several months ago, I found out one of my best twitter friends is also a fan and she was reading the book series. That began my quest for the books.
The books are incredible. I am currently reading the second-to-last one. They are horribly descriptive. The only people, aside from my twitter friend, that I have found that read them are 2 of my teachers. This fact does not surprise me much as they are not quite appropriate for a 17 year old to be reading. Most of them include several descriptive autopsies, lots of blood, and other murder related icky-ness.
I had a hard time with one of the autopsy scenes because while reading my mind wandered to the thought of whether autopsies were performed on my sisters...

As I do with many of my shows, I have spent quite a lot of time determining which character I am most like. While I was raised not-rich and have quite a few friends like Rizzoli, I strongly believe I am most like Maura Isles. She is a complete Brainy-type who works with dead people because they cant hurt her. She has a fear of living people and does not participate in too many social events. She loves to dress up and knows her way around formal events.

In the books, Jane Rizzoli falls in love with agent Gabriel Dean. They get married and then have a daughter who they name Regina. Their relationship started out rather rocky. Rizzoli hated Agent Dean at first because he was a typical FBI agent who wouldnt say more than he wanted to. They had a one night stand which is how Regina came around. They managed to get around their differences and they finally got married. now they are relatively happy, with much help from Rizzoli's mom.

Maura Isles is the Boston P.D. Chief Medical Examiner. During a case she meets Father Daniel Brophy and, dispite the difficulties it creates, she falls in love with him. In the Mephisto Club, he finally admits that he is also in love with her. They get together and, due to the ongoing investigation, Maura's home becomes a crime scene and Rizzoli and others discover what has happened between Maura and Father Brophy. Maura was adopted as a child and in Body Double she discovered who her family was. She had a twin sister who was murdered while trying to find her. Her parents were murderers who would murder pregant woman and then sell the children to an adoption agency. Now Maura works to prove that she is nothing like her parents even though she never really knew them.


I do not remember many details of the show so I cant give many of the differences between the show and books. I know that in the show Maura's father was actually a gang member. She had a half brother who's murder caused her to find her father. She discovers that her father has been watching her for her whole life. Daniel Brophy does not exist (so far) in the show. Rizzoli and Agent Dean are not together from what I remember. The first season ended with Rizzoli getting shot but since there is a second season coming this summer I know she will be okay.

This show has become my favorite along with Buffy The Vampire Slayer which I will probably post about in a few weeks. My thoughs often revolve around these characters which honestly should worry me a bit but it doesnt because thinking about tv shows keeps me from thinking about my life which makes me sad. (that will make more sense in about 11 days)



Well That is the end of my Rizzoli and Isles post. There will probably be references to the show in future posts. ***Kat***

What a Crazy Random Happenstance!

So today has just felt odd. I mean its been a relatively good day but something just feels off. It started out with a power outage at the school which was quite exciting! My stepsister and I were entertained by all the lightless houses on the way to school. I honestly didnt want the power to return. I love school but I havent been feeling good but apperently theres some rule that doesnt let you participate in extracuricular events if you are sick the day before and I have a quizbowl competition tomorrow. It will be weird without certain people there but I got Tyler to join so I wont be the only girl on the team anymore.

Brooke and I have decided to go get ICEEs after the competition because it has been a while since our last girls night. Other than that I have a relatively calm weekend ahead of me and thats just what I need.

I still feel like I really need a vacation even though we just returned from winter break on Wednesday. My vacation was extremely busy.

We left for Vegas at 2 am the day after school got out. We drove for about 13 hours that day. we stayed in Grand Junction Colorado. Raven and I had a mini Buffy marathon in the motel. I am glad we have so much in common now.

We left around 4 the next morning. WE arrived in Vegas early afternoon on Christmas Eve. We dropped Raven off at her Grandmas and headed off to waste time before my grandma got off work. We ended up going to pick up my friend Kaitlin and we went shopping for a while. Then we headed to the Hoover Dam. First we drove across that freaking high bridge. Then we went across the dam and walked around a while.

Kaitlin had to go home after that. Then mom and I headed down to the Vegas strip for some touristy sightseeing. We made it about 2 blocks in an hour. I recorded most of it on my blackberry. I had very little voice and I sounded quite a bit like Angie Harmon. Then it was vearly time for my grandma to get off so we headed over to Boulder City.

Around 10 pm, we finally went to eat. The only other food I had that day was some 5 am hashbrowns and a delicios pink doughnut! (I miss my simpson doughnuts already)The casino we ate at was awesome! The outside of the building changed colors and the wall in the restaurant was awesome!!!

The next day (Chrismas) we went hiking around the lake. My mom and I climbed a mountain!!! Then we went out to eat again.

The next day we went to church. I got hugged by a lot of people I sorta know but hardly remember. Then mom, dan (my grandmas boyfriend) and I went shopping! after that we went to eat at Olive Garden. After that mom, grandma, and dan went to see burlesque. I went Ice Skating with my uncle, raven, and Kelly (my uncles friends son). That was so much fun!!! It was my first time ice skating and I only fell once! it was quite funny. I also filmed a bit while skating. That was the first time Raven and I spotted a Rowse look-a-like in Vegas. We ended up seeing at least 10 throughout our trip.

Monday through Friday my mom and I did alot of shopping. We went to Cheesecake factory with Kaitlin. Such amazing food but so expensive!!! I also got my chicken from target which I had been missing lately. It was also a nice change from all the mozzerella sticks I ate while in Vegas.

On friday we went to see Gullivers Travels with my grandma and the lady she works for. That movie is sooo good!!!

Saturday we did a bit of shopping. Then sunday we left around 130am. We picked Raven up around 2 and Headed home. We stayed in Denver. By this point we all had awful sounding coughs. we returned home Monday. had 1 day of nothingness and returned to school wednesday.

Well, my fingers hurt and I think the bell rings soon so thats all for now! bye!!! ***Kat***

Creative Writing Class Post #1

So, For my creative writing class we need to post on a blog which means I shall be using this blog more often! This may mean it will be a while before I make any more tv show focused points but I suppose I havent even done that lately.

I'm really excited for this class because as my twitter proves I tend to have a lot to say although i dont tend to say it... There are still a few people who are shocked when they hear me talk. Although I am getting better!

I still sorta wish to someday work on SNL so this class could potentially help me. Plus, Rowse teaches it and she is a very entertaining teacher!

Its strange this semester because I went from a few classes where everyone was my age or younger to classes that are full of mostly seniors. In fact, I think I will be the only student in my Mythology class once they graduate a few weeks before school ends...

Well I suppose thats all for now! ***Kat***